1:For starter don’t expect that bloody butter because it’s not part of italian tradition!
2: If you eat Spaghetti just use the fork and never use the Spoon. Only children can use the spoon because they are still learning to use a fork. Please hold the fork in a correct way with style and not holding like a child. Do some exercises at home when we cannot see you to avoid embarrassment!
3: Stop asking a bloody cappuccino after your meals, we will give you evil eyes. Cappuccino is only for breakfast, when you wake up in the morning. How can you drink milk and coffee after pasta ?
4: Stop asking for a LATTE because Latte means just white milk and you will be given a glass with white milk. You should ask for Cappuccino and leave” latte” to the americans who love to copy and ruin our traditions.
5: If you order pizza please don’t ask pizza with chicken. You must make a choice, either you eat chicken or you eat pizza. Chicken on pizza is like a finger in your eye.
6: DO NOT CUT spaghetti with a knife, its like shagging a woman with the underwear, we can’t even watch you doing that! Its outrageous!!!
7: Don’t ask to an italian where is the nearest Mc Donalds or KFC because for us is SHIT not food.
8 : Stop complaining because you dont like fish, open your horizons, you cant eat chicken and same stuff every day for the rest of your life, you are missing something and maybe it’s time to try something different. And try to eat salads and stop saying they are for rabbits, we use olive oil and lemon or vinegar on them. I have never seen such a sophisticated rabbit.
9: If the food is FLOATING in sauces it means its not original italian, its british/american italian. careful.
10: We cook pasta with salt. otherwise taste SHIT and must be cooked al dente, not overcooked.
PS: The goal is to explain how we see things on the table but please don’t get offended and don’t take it too seriously, just have a laugh! But dont order bloody cappuccino after pasta grrrrrrr!!!